Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Hope
Im now in a cybercafe in tanjung kling here near my workplace..which is also near to klebang. cause since my hostel room no internet line i have to come here to online liao.. so cham..how i wish i was in bukit beruang now...so fang bian..what also have..but now i am here need to survive. it seems like this wont be the last message that i will write in our LD..when i read back wat i write last time i really very hurtful. i also dono why i would write such things. so very guo fen lor.i really hate myself so much for writing all those.i have to delete it cause it really very painful for me also. really unable to read it.i dint mean to write all those things dear. can you forgive me? can you give me a chance to make it all right again? I know that you are having hard time doing all the assignments and very busy to do your study. i just want to be there for you when you need me. actually i trust you de that you go out with boy just to study ok. i dint to mean anything else. i will think all this is because i keep on thinking of you and over guan xin ni liao...maybe i too free nothing to do but think of you so i will think alot of nonsense thing. dear you dont have to explain to me ok i believe the truth ok. when i read your reply i really very hate myself for not taking time to ask you further and to understand how you are doing there and what you are going through...it is so very selfish and stupid of me.. i know that ok..i wont blame you for hating me de. i know that there is nothign else for you and sean cause i know you wont do anything hurt me de....i should have taken the time to ask you and listen from you. i will always trust you and believe you de dear. yuan lai you were very happy happy to tell your friends that i will be coming to melaka to work..how sweet for you to din go back seremban just to see me and watch ice age with me.all this i want to know dear. i really want. i dint mean to execute you or not give you any chance. when i said break up is my biggest mistake in my life.i really really so regret to say it u noe.cause in my heart i dint mean to break up with u.cause i will die if i lost you. i really cannot live without u dear. please...i dont want to leave you and i wont disappear from your life and i wont walk far far away from you ...i know everything is i think myself that is why i really hate myself for it. My heart has only you and i willing to do anything for you. i know you dint do anything that betray me or hurt me dear...so i will wait for you ok. i want you back cause i really really love you so much i really do.i hope we can have a chance to be back together again and be sweet sweet. i just waiting for the day cause you told me that we need to give ourself time to calm down but you will find me de. i will be waiting for that day dear. i will wait until the day you come and find me. I miss you so much dear...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
i dunno why u will tink all this...i dunno how to explain n i dun1 to explain.i just wan to tell u the truth. whether u believe it or not, i jz wan to tell u the truth.
the sean guy is onli one of my gang, v..i really mean v, include all my frens oway hang out 2gth have dinner, study 2gth, selling thgs 2gth, jz one time go out to play due to v simply promise anth gang v will go out 2gth, who knows they really wan to go. Nth else, really nth else for me n sean.and wat u c in my mail box, i tol u, u r jz reading the surface but u never never tink of wanna noe the deep inside.y i would said like tat, y i would reply such msg to him, u thouhgt ur gf really so unshame to tok with a guy like tat?wat kind of person u tink of me?somemore he has his gf with one year stable relationship.wat i could do to him or to u n me?i dun wanna explain, or tel u wat i mean in the email is bcz i noe u r oway trust me, believe me, but now i noe u r not.u oway tink i will simply find anth n leave u alone.u thought everythg but u never thought i really need u, really appreciate u if not i wont walk such a long journey with u.u NEVER N EVER!!!u said i spend very happy time with sean, i feel very humour of it, spend hapy time?i never go out alone with him,never n ever.i never try to spend more than half day with him oso.our topic jz around IB event, selling thgs, how to stop selling thg, nth else.i dunno y u will say wat spend happy time with him.i suddenly felt u r so....so....dunno how to say.u could creat the story urself jz to find a reason to break up with me.tats the point!i so disappointed when i read all this...heart pain until wanna take it out n i wish i could 4gt u frm now on!!!!!u can ask anyone of my fren, how happy when i tol them u monday will be working here.how sweet m i when everyone ask me y i din went bac to sbn tat week n bcz i wanna wait u come to find me.how sweet m i when i tol everyone i ady watched ice age with my bf...all tis u NEVER wan to noe!!!u jz wanna noe how i kidding with my fren n u jz tink everythg in the wrong way.tats all have in ur heart to me!u r jz execute me without giving me any chance.if u wanna leave me, i wont force u to be here.if u wanna disappear frm my life, jz walk far far n make sure u never turn ur head.dun regret with wat u do bcz i din do anythg wrong n all is jz u tink urself.yes, since u said goodbye to me, i will do watever thgs to 4gt u,as u wish.although it is really tough to me....but live as one person better than gth with a person no longer trust me.
i jz wanna say: I DIN DO ANYTHG THAT BETRAY U, HURT U, N I NEVER N EVER MEANT TAT I WANNA BREAK WITH U!!!!!plz rmb wat u have tell me now...n 4ever...goodbye!
the sean guy is onli one of my gang, v..i really mean v, include all my frens oway hang out 2gth have dinner, study 2gth, selling thgs 2gth, jz one time go out to play due to v simply promise anth gang v will go out 2gth, who knows they really wan to go. Nth else, really nth else for me n sean.and wat u c in my mail box, i tol u, u r jz reading the surface but u never never tink of wanna noe the deep inside.y i would said like tat, y i would reply such msg to him, u thouhgt ur gf really so unshame to tok with a guy like tat?wat kind of person u tink of me?somemore he has his gf with one year stable relationship.wat i could do to him or to u n me?i dun wanna explain, or tel u wat i mean in the email is bcz i noe u r oway trust me, believe me, but now i noe u r not.u oway tink i will simply find anth n leave u alone.u thought everythg but u never thought i really need u, really appreciate u if not i wont walk such a long journey with u.u NEVER N EVER!!!u said i spend very happy time with sean, i feel very humour of it, spend hapy time?i never go out alone with him,never n ever.i never try to spend more than half day with him oso.our topic jz around IB event, selling thgs, how to stop selling thg, nth else.i dunno y u will say wat spend happy time with him.i suddenly felt u r so....so....dunno how to say.u could creat the story urself jz to find a reason to break up with me.tats the point!i so disappointed when i read all this...heart pain until wanna take it out n i wish i could 4gt u frm now on!!!!!u can ask anyone of my fren, how happy when i tol them u monday will be working here.how sweet m i when everyone ask me y i din went bac to sbn tat week n bcz i wanna wait u come to find me.how sweet m i when i tol everyone i ady watched ice age with my bf...all tis u NEVER wan to noe!!!u jz wanna noe how i kidding with my fren n u jz tink everythg in the wrong way.tats all have in ur heart to me!u r jz execute me without giving me any chance.if u wanna leave me, i wont force u to be here.if u wanna disappear frm my life, jz walk far far n make sure u never turn ur head.dun regret with wat u do bcz i din do anythg wrong n all is jz u tink urself.yes, since u said goodbye to me, i will do watever thgs to 4gt u,as u wish.although it is really tough to me....but live as one person better than gth with a person no longer trust me.
i jz wanna say: I DIN DO ANYTHG THAT BETRAY U, HURT U, N I NEVER N EVER MEANT TAT I WANNA BREAK WITH U!!!!!plz rmb wat u have tell me now...n 4ever...goodbye!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
its 12.50pm 06 July 2009...the weather is raining so heavily outside..whole day dint stop rain a bit..im in bp in my house alone..everyone went out d left me here...last night i did a very stupid and silly thing...i got so emotional and simply think...i dono what happen to me...maybe is the loneliness inside of me...or maybe is the long long time that i cannot see u or feel u or touch u... when i receive ur sms saying that you were yamcha with ur frens and u saw my housemates.. i thought that when u saw my housemates only then u will tell me where u were...cause since i so far from u i cant see u dear..i cant noe what u are doing there..who u with...i noe that u will feel very fan and very sien if i everytime also ask u where u are and what u are doing...but ...i just want to noe...i will try to control myself ok...to not ask u so much time...dear dear...i know that u are very suffer that i am not there and you are finding your friends to accompany u and make u happy...but i know that u would go out with guys de...even dan du u also will go out...i pretend that i dont care but i really very unhappy...cause inside i really dont want other guys to be alone with u... dear ..do u noe ma? i actually have no confidence in myself to keep u loving me very strong...but i am trying very very hard dear...to make u feel that i am there with u...make u feel i am near by u...
last night i totally could not sleep cause i know that u are out with 2 guys...i know i should not be like that...i know u also have the freedom to go out with who u want also...but i dont know why i feel like i cant do enough for u...im scared dear...im really really very scared of losing you... i know as more and more days i am not around you...maybe you will feel that dont have me also u can be happy...but i really really very very love you do u noe this?
im very alone here dear...i wish i could just go back to melaka and stay with u forever...
that day when i call u...i just wanted to hear u and talk a while but i feel like u dont want to talk to me anymore...i feel so down and sad...i noe that u feel like we are going to have nothing to talk anymore soon...i dont want ...i really dont want to have nothing to talk to u...
dear...i need your strength for me to go on dear...i cant do this without u dear.. i really cant...
i dint even know whether you got come back last night or not...my brain keep on telling me not to think so much but my heart keep on thinking of u dear...
i very scared that because of us quarrel then u will go out with the 2 guys and dont come home..
dear... i miss u so very much...i just want to hug u and feel u and love u...
just now i just read a very very meaningful story and i feel it dear....
其实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子在冲他们发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣。
实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气，因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，
也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会来在乎你关心你，怕你做错事情。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她，
在别人面前她都是淑女。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，
让她即使生气也不会超过2天。
而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，而这一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她。
于是，你们时常争吵，你认为她脾气不好，她认为你不够迁就她。
于是，你们总是冷战，你以为她不喜欢你，她以为你不在乎她。
于是，你们总是莫名其妙的彼此错过，也许擦身而过，本身就是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福。
要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉而沧桑，那是更加的美。
因为她喜欢你，所以她偶尔冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。
因为她喜欢你，所以她才会生你的气；
而又因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气很久。
你可知道，每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，但是很容易就碰伤摔碎。
你可知道，每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害。她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，
因为真正值得她哭的那个根本舍不得让她哭。
她会很矜持，
她会很骄傲，
她会很冷淡，
她总是嘴里说着你走开，心里却一直叫你留下。
你了解女孩吗?
请你张开你的耳朵，
也请你打开你的心，
去听她心里真正的呼唤，
而不是她嘴里的口是心非。
她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身，当侧身而过的时候，
你看不见她的泪，滂沱在脸上心里。
如果你喜欢她，请你多陪她；
如果你喜欢她，请你多宠她；
如果你喜欢她，请你多让她。
如果你喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是呐喊——请拥抱她。
在爱情里，总是彼此伤害，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。
可是，爱情里没有孰对孰错；
爱情里更加没有你比我多我比你少。
你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够。
不要试图让彼此的伤害，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。
你们彼此相爱，你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快乐，不是伤害。
不要用沉默宣战，不要互不相让，
更不要什么话都不讲就冷漠离去。要知道，你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛着泪光。
越是安静战火就越深，这是冷战也是彼此的伤害——
无论是怎么的复合，那些伤口曾经存在，抹不去。
请跟她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。
她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静。 请记住，相爱的人不要轻易宣战，因为冷战带来的伤害，超出你的预计。
也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没有什么是你接受不了的，
只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。
那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病，在你眼里都是撒娇。
也请记住，她喜欢你，她需要的不是你真的转身，她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。
她只是想你宠她，想你抱她，哪怕，没有道谦。
last night i totally could not sleep cause i know that u are out with 2 guys...i know i should not be like that...i know u also have the freedom to go out with who u want also...but i dont know why i feel like i cant do enough for u...im scared dear...im really really very scared of losing you... i know as more and more days i am not around you...maybe you will feel that dont have me also u can be happy...but i really really very very love you do u noe this?
im very alone here dear...i wish i could just go back to melaka and stay with u forever...
that day when i call u...i just wanted to hear u and talk a while but i feel like u dont want to talk to me anymore...i feel so down and sad...i noe that u feel like we are going to have nothing to talk anymore soon...i dont want ...i really dont want to have nothing to talk to u...
dear...i need your strength for me to go on dear...i cant do this without u dear.. i really cant...
i dint even know whether you got come back last night or not...my brain keep on telling me not to think so much but my heart keep on thinking of u dear...
i very scared that because of us quarrel then u will go out with the 2 guys and dont come home..
dear... i miss u so very much...i just want to hug u and feel u and love u...
just now i just read a very very meaningful story and i feel it dear....
其实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子在冲他们发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣。
实很多男孩子都不知道，
女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气，因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，
也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会来在乎你关心你，怕你做错事情。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她，
在别人面前她都是淑女。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，
让她即使生气也不会超过2天。
而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，而这一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她。
于是，你们时常争吵，你认为她脾气不好，她认为你不够迁就她。
于是，你们总是冷战，你以为她不喜欢你，她以为你不在乎她。
于是，你们总是莫名其妙的彼此错过，也许擦身而过，本身就是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福。
要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉而沧桑，那是更加的美。
因为她喜欢你，所以她偶尔冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。
因为她喜欢你，所以她才会生你的气；
而又因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气很久。
你可知道，每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，但是很容易就碰伤摔碎。
你可知道，每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害。她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，
因为真正值得她哭的那个根本舍不得让她哭。
她会很矜持，
她会很骄傲，
她会很冷淡，
她总是嘴里说着你走开，心里却一直叫你留下。
你了解女孩吗?
请你张开你的耳朵，
也请你打开你的心，
去听她心里真正的呼唤，
而不是她嘴里的口是心非。
她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身，当侧身而过的时候，
你看不见她的泪，滂沱在脸上心里。
如果你喜欢她，请你多陪她；
如果你喜欢她，请你多宠她；
如果你喜欢她，请你多让她。
如果你喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是呐喊——请拥抱她。
在爱情里，总是彼此伤害，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。
可是，爱情里没有孰对孰错；
爱情里更加没有你比我多我比你少。
你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够。
不要试图让彼此的伤害，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。
你们彼此相爱，你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快乐，不是伤害。
不要用沉默宣战，不要互不相让，
更不要什么话都不讲就冷漠离去。要知道，你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛着泪光。
越是安静战火就越深，这是冷战也是彼此的伤害——
无论是怎么的复合，那些伤口曾经存在，抹不去。
请跟她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。
她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静。 请记住，相爱的人不要轻易宣战，因为冷战带来的伤害，超出你的预计。
也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没有什么是你接受不了的，
只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。
那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病，在你眼里都是撒娇。
也请记住，她喜欢你，她需要的不是你真的转身，她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。
她只是想你宠她，想你抱她，哪怕，没有道谦。
It's been so long since we last talk...missing u still
To a dearest miss ng woan man aka my bao bei dear dear,i miss u so much here.i feel so lonely without u...i dont know whether you have gotten used to life there without me already or not but for me i am still not really used to it.sometimes when i am doing something i will still think of you. maybe is the emptiness in my life or too much time to spend since i not yet start to work. but you have changed...changed so much..i scared tat i cant keep up with u...when u move more and more far away from me i scared that i cant keep up with u ...i dono how my life would be if i start to work...i noe it would be different as i have less time to sms u and talk to u..sometimes i asking myself that why fate make us to separate to different place. why other coupes can stick together but we cannot??? miss i girl that you love is very sufer...when u need her hug she is not around you, when u need a shoulder she is not around u, when u hope to hold her hand she is not there..although we need to separate to different places, but i trust her and she trust me.i believe we can face this challenge and i hope we can put effort together dear...i love u very muchsometimes i just want to know every thing that is happening to u..to noe what you are doing every second and every moment..who u are with..who u are talking to...where u are..what u thinking of...every minute i will check my handphone and see whether got ur sms or not...or even a miss call also can...i hope u miss me as much as i miss u... maybe u very busy and feel that it is very fan to tell me everything that is happening... i wont blame u dear...i just hope that u can feel me dear as i feel u everytime...
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